IELTS-writing exercise Argumentation_Text_17

道德教育+如何举例

Q:Some people think schools should only teach students cademic subjects. Others think schools should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

介绍段

背景句

Schools are normally seen as the place where the next generation can improve knowledge to increase employability.

阐述立场

In my view, academic subjects are important to one’s career achievement, but students who do not learn the difference between right and wrong can not succeed in their working lives.

主体部分第一段

中心句

Many teachers suggest that students should concentrate on core subjects, because the performance in these courses can determine whether they can enter university in the future.

解释

What students can learn in academic courses can provide a firm grounding for university and help them find decent jobs.

举例

For example, students who acquire mathematical skills at school can build models to analyze data at university and works as financial analysts and engineers after they graduate.

对比

They are less likely to focus on key disciplines if they are required to spend time in studying principles and behaviours norms.

主体部分第二段

中心句（社会）

Schools can impart some important viryues into students, which enable them to make good use of their knowledge to contribute positively to society.

举例1

If one understand the value of loyalty, he or she will not sell confidental documents of his or her employer to other companies.

举例2

Engineers who are conscious of social responsibilities are more likely to design safe products which benefit consumers.

对比

Students who do not have a moral compass cannot achieve success, even though they perform well at school.

主体部分第三段

中心句

In my opinion, students cannot be successful if they are not able to distinguish right from wrong.

举例1

Students should learn how to respect teachers and get on well with classmates.

举例2

Some students like eating fast food, which can cause obesity.

对比

If they do not realize these problems, thier education and career can be affected adversely.

Model

Schools are normally seen as the place where the next generation can improve knowledge to increase employability. In my view, academic subjects are important to one’s career achievement, but students who do not learn the difference between right and wrong can not succeed in their working lives.
Many teachers suggest that students should concentrate on core subjects, because the performance in these courses can determine whether they can enter university in the future. What students can learn in academic courses can provide a firm grounding for university and help them find decent jobs. For example, students who acquire mathematical skills at school can build models to analyze data at university and works as financial analysts and engineers after they graduate. They are less likely to focus on key disciplines if they are required to spend time in studying principles and behaviours norms.
Schools can impart some important virtues into students, which enable them to make good use of their knowledge to contribute positively to society. If one understand the value of loyalty, he or she will not sell confidental documents of his or her employer to other companies. Engineers who are conscious of social responsibilities are more likely to design safe products which benefit consumers. Students who do not have a moral compass cannot achieve success, even though they perform well at school.
In my opinion, students cannot be successful if they are not able to distinguish right from wrong. Students should learn how to respect teachers and get on well with classmates. Some students like eating fast food, which can cause obesity. If they do not realize these problems, thier education and career can be affected adversely.

学习点

• 举例可以让段落更加具体，有内容，增加可读性。

Improved Model

Schools are normally seen as the place where the next generation can improve knowledge to increase employability. In my view, academic subjects are important to one’s career achievement, but students who do not learn the difference between right and wrong can not succeed in their working lives.
Many teachers suggest that students should concentrate on core subjects, because the performance in these courses can determine whether they can enter university in the future. What students can learn in academic courses can provide a firm grounding for university and help them find decent jobs. For example, students who acquire mathematical skills at school can learn how to build models to analyze data at university and works as financial analysts and engineers after they graduate. They are less likely to focus on key disciplines if they are required to spend time in studying moral principles and behaviours norms.
On the other hand, some educationalists are in favor of imparting some important virtues and moral values into students, motivating the next generation to make good use of their knowledge to contribute positively to their future employers and the whole society. Students who are conscious of social responsibilities are more likely to design safe products which benefit consumers, if they work as engineers for the manufacturing sector in the future. Students who do not have a moral compass cannot achieve success, even though they perform well at school.
In my opinion, the younger generation cannot be successful if they are not able to distinguish right from wrong. Students who learn politeness and social rules may understand how to respect teachers and get on well with classmates, and because of this, they will also be able to develop a strong working relationship with colleagues once they start working. This is the key to caareer achievement. If they do not realize these problems, thier education and career can be affected adversely.

注：高亮部分为词伙。