老友记第一季台词打印_老友记第一季第一集台词

六人行1-1The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The

Pilot-The Uncut Version)

[Scene: Central Perk,

Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]

Monica: There's nothing to

tell! He's just some guy I work with!

Joey: C'mon, you're going out

with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with

him!

Chandler: All right Joey, be

nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a

hairpiece?

Phoebe: Wait, does he eat

chalk?

(They all stare,

bemused.)

Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't

want her to go through what I went through with Carl-

oh!

Monica: Okay, everybody relax.

This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner

and- not having sex.

Chandler: Sounds like a date

to me.

[Time Lapse]

Chandler: Alright, so I'm back

in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I

realize I am totally naked.

All: Oh, yeah. Had that

dream.

Chandler: Then I look down,

and I realize there's a phone... there.

Joey: Instead

of...?

Chandler: That's

right.

Joey: Never had that

dream.

Phoebe: No.

Chandler: All of a sudden, the

phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts

looking at me.

Monica: And they weren't

looking at you before?!

Chandler: Finally, I figure

I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is

very-very weird, because- she never calls me!

[Time Lapse, Ross has

entered.]

Ross: (mortified)

Hi.

Joey: This guy says hello, I

wanna kill myself.

Monica: Are you okay,

sweetie?

Ross: I just feel like someone

reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out

of my mouth and tied it around my neck...

Chandler:

Cookie?

Monica: (explaining to the

others) Carol moved her stuff out today.

Joey: Ohh.

Monica: (to Ross) Let me get

you some coffee.

Ross:

Thanks.

Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts

to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)

Ross: No, no don't! Stop

cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone,

okay?

Phoebe: Fine! Be

murky!

Ross: I'll be fine, alright?

Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.

Monica: No you

don't.

Ross: No I don't, to hell with

her, she left me!

Joey: And you never knew she

was a lesbian...

Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does

everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I

know?

Chandler: Sometimes I wish I

was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out

loud?

Ross: I told mom and dad last

night, they seemed to take it pretty well.

Monica: Oh really, so that

hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M.,

"I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was

what? A wrong number?

Ross: Sorry.

Joey: Alright Ross, look.

You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're

hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?

(Ross gestures his

consent.)

Joey: Strip joint! C'mon,

you're single! Have some hormones!

Ross: I don't want to be

single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married

again!

(Rachel enters in a wet

wedding dress and starts to search the room.)

Chandler: And I just want a

million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)

Monica:

Rachel?!

Rachel: Oh God Monica hi!

Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there and

then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are,

you are!

Waitress: Can I get you some

coffee?

Monica: (pointing at Rachel)

De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln

High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and

Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother

Ross?

Rachel: Hi,

sure!

Ross: Hi.

(They go to hug but Ross's

umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of

silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to

explain.)

Monica: So you wanna tell us

now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?

Rachel: Oh God... well, it

started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room

where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this

gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a

sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I

realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by

Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit

me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I

always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out

of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am

I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where

to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but

you're the only person I knew who lived here in the

city.

Monica: Who wasn't invited to

the wedding.

Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda

hoping that wouldn't be an issue... [Scene: Monica's Apartment,

everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying

to figure out what is going on.]

Monica: Now I'm guessing that

he bought her the big pipe organ, and she's really not happy about

it.

Chandler: (imitating the

characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide!

Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll

have whatever Christine is having.

Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I

just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well,

it matters to me!

(The scene on TV has changed

to show two women, one is holding her hair.)

Phoebe: If I let go of my

hair, my head will fall off.

Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she

should not be wearing those pants.

Joey: I say push her down the

stairs.

Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and

Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her

down the stairs!

(She is pushed down the stairs

and everyone cheers.)

Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to

me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told

me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'.

And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a

shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No,

I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha-

It's a metaphor, Daddy!

Ross: You can see where he'd

have trouble.

Rachel: Look Daddy, it's my

life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.

Monica: Well, I guess we've

established who's staying here with Monica...

Rachel: Well, maybe that's my

decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I said

maybe!!

[Time Lapse, Rachel is

breating into a paper bag.]

Monica: Just breathe,

breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm

things...

Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on

roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at

her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La

la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a

few...

Rachel: I'm all better

now.

Phoebe: (grins and walks to

the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I

helped!

Monica: Okay, look, this is

probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your

life. The whole, 'hat' thing.

Joey: (comforting her) And

hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and

Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a

lot.

Monica: Joey, stop hitting on

her! It's her wedding day!

Joey: What, like there's a

rule or something?

(The door buzzer sounds and

Chandler gets it.)

Chandler: Please don't do that

again, it's a horrible sound.

Paul: (over the intercom)

It's, uh, it's Paul.

Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30?

Buzz him in!

Joey: Who's

Paul?

Ross: Paul the Wine Guy,

Paul?

Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait.

Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine

Guy?

Ross: He finally asked you

out?

Monica: Yes!

Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear

Diary moment.

Monica: Rach, wait, I can

cancel...

Rachel: Please, no, go, that'd

be fine!

Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you

okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?

Ross: (choked voice) That'd be

good...

Monica: (horrified)

Really?

Ross: (normal voice) No, go

on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!

Phoebe: What does that mean?

Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler

doesn't know.)

(There's a knock on the door

and it's Paul.)

Monica: Hi, come in! Paul,

this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody,

everybody, this is Paul.

All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine

Guy! Hey!

Chandler: I'm sorry, I didn't

catch your name. Paul, was it?

Monica: Okay, umm-umm, I'll

just--I'll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go

ah...

Ross: A

wandering?

Monica: Change! Okay, sit

down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.

Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out

four eyelashes. That can't be good.

(Monica goes to

change.)

Joey: Hey,

Paul!

Paul: Yeah?

Joey: Here's a little tip, she

really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and

over and over again until it starts to get a little

red.

Monica: (yelling from the

bedroom) Shut up, Joey!

Ross: So Rachel, what're you,

uh... what're you up to tonight?

Rachel: Well, I was kinda

supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so

nothing!

Ross: Right, you're not even

getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of

year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you

don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming

over to help me put together my new furniture.

Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and

we're very excited about it.

Rachel: Well actually thanks,

but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a

long day.

Ross: Okay,

sure.

Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna

help?

Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could,

but I don't want to.

Commercial

Break

[Scene: The Subway, Phoebe is

singing for change.]

Phoebe: (singing) Love is

sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your

love oh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on

my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to

that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!

[Scene: Ross's Apartment, the

guys are there assembling furniture.]

Ross: (squatting and reading

the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the

side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no

brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my

legs.

(Joey and Chandler are

finishing assembling the bookcase.)

Joey: I'm thinking we've got a

bookcase here.

Chandler: It's a beautiful

thing.

Joey: (picking up a leftover

part) What's this?

Chandler: I would have to say

that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.

Joey: Which goes

where?

Chandler: I have no

idea.

(Joey checks that Ross is not

looking and dumps it in a plant.)

Joey: Done with the

bookcase!

Chandler: All

finished!

Ross: (clutching a beer can

and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it

out of the can, I should have known.

Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if

you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta

here.

Chandler: Yes, please don't

spoil all this fun.

Joey: Ross, let me ask you a

question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did

you get?

Ross: You

guys.

Chandler: Oh,

God.

Joey: You got

screwed.

Chandler: Oh my

God!

[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica

and Paul are eating.]

Monica: Oh my

God!

Paul: I know, I know, I'm such

an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to

the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth

get?

Monica: My brother's going

through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through

it?

Paul: Well, you might try

accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say

her-

Monica:

-leg?

Paul: (laughing) That's one

way! Me, I- I went for the watch.

Monica: You actually broke her

watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shredded by

boyfriend's favorite bath towel.

Paul: Ooh, steer clear of

you.

Monica: That's right. [Scene:

Monica's Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and

pacing.]

Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I

am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about

what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on,

but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops

talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again...

anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be

incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's

not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you

just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off

again and she redials.)

[Scene: Ross's Apartment; Ross

is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more

furniture.]

Ross: I'm divorced! I'm only

26 and I'm divorced!

Joey: Shut

up!

Chandler: You must stop!

(Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it

collapses.)

Ross: That only took me an

hour.

Chandler: Look, Ross, you

gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has

lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a

woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the

end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do

it! I don't think that was my point!

Ross: You know what the

scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody,

y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it?

Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for

her...

Joey: What are you talking

about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of

ice cream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of

flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing!

Cherry Vanilla. You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped

cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got

married, you were, like, what, eight? Welcome back to the world!

Grab a spoon!

Ross: I honestly don't know if

I'm hungry or horny.

Chandler: Stay out of my

freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still

eating.]

Paul: Ever since she walked

out on me, I, uh...

Monica: What?..... What, you

wanna spell it out with noodles?

Paul: No, it's, it's more of a

fifth date kinda revelation.

Monica: Oh, so there is gonna

be a fifth date?

Paul: Isn't

there?

Monica: Yeah... yeah, I think

there is. -What were you gonna say?

Paul: Well, ever-ev-... ever

since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. (Monica

takes a sip of her drink.) ...Sexually.

Monica: (spitting out her

drink in shock) Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so

sorry...

Paul: It's

okay...

Monica: I know being spit on

is probably not what you need right now. Um... how

long?

Paul: Two

years.

Monica: Wow! I'm-I'm-I'm glad

you smashed her watch!

Paul: So you still think you,

um... might want that fifth date?

Monica: (pause)...Yeah. Yeah,

I do.

[Scene: Monica's Apartment,

Rachel is watching Joanne Loves Chaci.]

Priest on TV: We are gathered

here today to join Joanne Louise Cunningham and Charles,

Chachi-Chachi-Chachi, Arcola in the bound of holy

matrimony.

Rachel: Oh...see... but Joanne

loved Chachi! That's the difference!

[Scene: Ross's Apartment,

they're all sitting around and talking.]

Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon.

Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the

words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to

you?

Joey: Great story! But, I uh,

I gotta go, I got a date with Andrea--Angela--Andrea... Oh man,

(looks to Chandler)

Chandler: Angela's the

screamer, Andrea has cats.

Joey: Right. Thanks. It's

June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)

Ross: Y'know, here's the

thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman

out,... who am I gonna ask? (He gazes out of the

window.)

[Cut to Rachel staring out of

her window.]

Commercial

Break

[Scene: Monica's Apartment,

Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]

Rachel: Isn't this amazing? I

mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire

life.

Chandler: That is

amazing.

Joey:

Congratulations.

Rachel: Y'know, I figure if I

can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do.

Chandler: If can invade

Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.

Joey: Listen, while you're on

a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or

something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour

it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that

hungry...

Monica: (entering, to herself)

Oh good, Lenny and Squigy are here.

All: Morning. Good

morning.

Paul: (entering from Monica's

room) Morning.

Joey: Morning,

Paul.

Rachel: Hello,

Paul.

Chandler: Hi, Paul, is

it?

(Monica and Paul walk to the

door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others

move Monica's table closer to the door so that they

can.)

Paul: Thank you! Thank you so

much!

Monica:

Stop!

Paul: No, I'm telling you last

night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plus the

barn raising scene in Witness.

Monica: We'll talk

later.

Paul: Yeah. (They kiss) Thank

you. (Exits)

Joey: That wasn't a real

date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?

Monica: Shut up, and put my

table back.

All: Okayyy! (They do

so.)

Chandler: All right, kids, I

gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't

make much of a difference...

Rachel: So, like, you guys all

have jobs?

Monica: Yeah, we all have

jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.

Joey: Yeah, I'm an

actor.

Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen

you in anything?

Joey: I doubt it. Mostly

regional work.

Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless

you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the

little theater in the park.

Joey: Look, it was a job all

right?

Chandler: 'Look, Gippetto, I'm

a real live boy.'

Joey: I will not take this

abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)

Chandler: You're right, I'm

sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a

wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."

Joey: You should both know,

that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after

Chandler.)

Monica: So how you doing

today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop

smiling.

Rachel: I can see that. You

look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.

Monica: I know, he's just so,

so... Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco?

Rachel: Oh,

yeah.

Monica: Well, it's like that.

With feelings.

Rachel: Oh wow. Are you in

trouble.

Monica: Big

time!

Rachel: Want a wedding dress?

Hardly used.

Monica: I think we are getting

a little ahead of selves here. Okay. Okay. I am just going to get

up, go to work and not think about him all day. Or else I'm just

gonna get up and go to work.

Rachel: Oh, look, wish me

luck!

Monica: What

for?

Rachel: I'm gonna go get one

of those (Thinks) job things.

(Monica

exits.)

[Scene: Iridium, Monica is

working as Frannie enters.]

Frannie: Hey,

Monica!

Monica: Hey Frannie, welcome

back! How was Florida?

Frannie: You had sex, didn't

you?

Monica: How do you do

that?

Frannie: Oh, I hate you, I'm

pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex!

So? Who?

Monica: You know

Paul?

Frannie: Paul the Wine Guy? Oh

yeah, I know Paul.

Monica: You mean you know Paul

like I know Paul?

Frannie: Are you kidding? I

take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his

turtle for two years.

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone

but Rachel is there.]

Joey: (sitting on the arm of

the couch)Of course it was a line!

Monica: Why?! Why? Why, why

would anybody do something like that?

Ross: I assume we're looking

for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into

bed'.

Monica: I hate men! I hate

men!

Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you

don't want to put that out into the universe.

Monica: Is it me? Is it like I

have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe

emotional problems can hear?

Phoebe: All right, c'mere,

gimme your feet. (She starts massaging them.)

Monica: I just thought he was

nice, y'know?

Joey: (bursts out laughing

again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a

line!

(Monica pushes him off of the

sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.)

Rachel: Guess

what?

Ross: You got a

job?

Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm

trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews

today.

Chandler: And yet you're

surprisingly upbeat.

Rachel: You would be too if

you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent

off!

Chandler: Oh, how well you

know me...

Rachel: They're my new 'I

don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots'

boots!

Monica: How'd you pay for

them?

Rachel: Uh, credit

card.

Monica: And who pays for

that?

Rachel: Um... my...

father.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's,

everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel's credit cards

are spread out on the table along with a pair of

scissors.]

Rachel: Oh God, come on you

guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime

I want.

Monica: C'mon, you can't live

off your parents your whole life.

Rachel: I know that. That's

why I was getting married.

Phoebe: Give her a break, it's

hard being on your own for the first time.

Rachel: Thank

you.

Phoebe: You're welcome. I

remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had

just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got

here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this

albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port

authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found

aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you

feel.

(Pause)

Ross: The word you're looking

for is 'Anyway'...

Monica: All right, you

ready?

Rachel: No. No, no, I'm not

ready! How can I be ready? "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the

airplane without your parachute?" Come on, I can't do

this!

Monica: You can, I know you

can!

Rachel: I don't think

so.

Ross: Come on, you made

coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now

dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee

into it.)

Ross: C'mon, cut. Cut, cut,

cut,...

All: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut,

cut, cut... (She cuts one of them and they

cheer.)

Rachel: Y'know what? I think

we can just leave it at that. It's kinda like a symbolic

gesture...

Monica: Rachel! That was a

library card!

All: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut,

cut, cut..

Chandler: (as Rachel is

cutting up her cards) Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a

thousand retailers scream.

(She finishes cutting them up

and they all cheer.)

Monica: Welcome to the real

world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!

[Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross

are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day by playing

the national anthem.]

Monica: Well, that's it (To

Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?

Ross: No. No, I gotta go home

sometime.

Monica: You be

okay?

Ross: Yeah.

Rachel: Hey Mon, look what I

just found on the floor. (Monica smiles.) What?

Monica: That's Paul's watch.

You just put it back where you found it. Oh boy. Alright.

Goodnight, everybody.

Ross and Rachel:

Goodnight.

(Monica stomps on Paul's watch

and goes into her room.)

Ross: Mmm. (They both reach

for the last cookie) Oh, no-

Rachel:

Sorry-

Ross: No no no,

go-

Rachel: No, you have it,

really, I don't want it-

Ross: Split

it?

Rachel:

Okay.

Ross: Okay. (They split it.)

You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I

had a, um, major crush on you.

Rachel: I

knew.

Ross: You did! Oh.... I always

figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older

brother.

Rachel: I

did.

Ross: Oh. Listen, do you

think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind

of a factor here- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you

out? Sometime? Maybe?

Rachel: Yeah,

maybe...

Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I

will...

Rachel:

Goodnight.

Ross:

Goodnight.

(Rachel goes into her room and

Monica enters the living room as Ross is

leaving.)

Monica: See ya.... Waitwait,

what's with you?

Ross: I just grabbed a spoon.

(Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that

means.)

Closing

Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone

is there.]

Joey: I can't believe what I'm

hearing here.

Phoebe: (sings) I can't

believe what I'm hearing here...

Monica: What? I-I said you had

a-

Phoebe: (sings) What I said

you had...

Monica: (to Phoebe) Would you

stop?

Phoebe: Oh, was I doing it

again?

All: Yes!

Monica: I said that you had a

nice butt, it's just not a great butt.

Joey: Oh, you wouldn't know a

great butt if it came up and bit ya.

Ross: There's an

image.

Rachel: (walks up with a pot

of coffee) Would anybody like more coffee?

Chandler: Did you make it, or

are you just serving it?

Rachel: I'm just serving

it.

All: Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a

cup of coffee.

Chandler: Kids, new dream...

I'm in Las Vegas. (Rachel sits down to hear Chandler's

dream.)

Customer: (To Rachel) Ahh,

miss? More coffee?

Rachel: Ugh. (To another

customer that's leaving.) Excuse me, could you give this to that

guy over there? (Hands him the coffee pot.) Go ahead. (He does so.)

Thank you. (To the gang.) Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas.

Chandler: Okay, so, I'm in Las

Vegas... I'm Liza Minelli-

End