IELTS-Writing Exercises: Tak2:Aging society

Q:In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effects on society?

E1: People’s life expectancy keeps increasing due to development of science and technology and the growth of wealth.

A1: People’s life expectancy has increased in many societies, possibly because of improvements in technology and the increase in personal wealth.

E2: Although old people can contribute to the society, the demographic change may lead to many problems.

A2: Although senior citizens can contribute extraordinarily to society, I would argue that demographic change can bring about many problems.

E3: A problem related to aging is the abrupt growth of medical fee, which will give more burden to taxpayers.

A3: One problem associated with an ageing population is that health care costs will escalate, imposing a burden on taxpayers.

E4: As is known to us all, most of medical demand and cost occurs in the last years of life.

A4: It is widely known that most medical needs and costs occur in the last years of life.

E5: Therefore, the government needs to spend more on caring for elderly people, while some other key services, such as education, will suffer from lack of finance.

A5: Governments have to pour more money in caring for the elderly, but other essential services like education will be underfunded.

E6: With the number of older workers increasing, the slow work pace may be another problem.

A6: The slow pace of work is another problem, as the number of senior works increases.

E7: As age increases, people’s abilities to absorb information and deal with work tend to decline.

A7: The ability to absorb information and complete work declines with age.

E8: If the elderly put off retiring, they may influence the efficiency and interest of their companies.

A8: If senior workers delay retirement, they may not perform as well as younger employees and this can influence companies’ productivity and profitability.

E9: On the other hand, many people will put off retirement and extend their career lives, while their experience and wisdom are valuable society wealth.

A9: On the other hand, many people will postpone retirement and extend their working life, and it is true their experience and wisdom are a valuable asset to the whole society.

E10: Since people pay much attention to diet health and sports currently, they tend to live healthier and longer.

A10: People today can live healthier and longer, since they pay closer attention to healthy eating and sports.

E11: They can work as counsellor to pass their knowledge and skills to young ones.

A11:They can work as consultants and impart their knowledge and skills to the younger generation.

E12: For example, some experienced managers will teach young people how to run a company and how to serve the clients better.

A12:For example, some senior managers can teach young people how to manage a company, and how to provide better services for clients.

E13: All in all, the abrupt extension of life has pressed medical organizations in many countries, which also influence the output of labour.

A13: In conclusion, the considerable extension of life expectancy has put strain on health care and made the workforce less productive.

E14: This will influence the financial development although we can make full use of the wisdom of old people.

A14: It will influence the economic development of a country, although we can make good use of senior workers’ wisdom.

MODEL ESSAY

People’s life expectancy has increased in many societies, possibly because of improvements in technology and the increase in personal wealth. Although senior citizens can contribute extraordinarily to society, I would argue that this demographic change can bring about some problems.

One problem associated with an ageing population is that health care costs will escalate increase, imposing a burden on taxpayers. It is widely known that most medical needs and costs occur in the last years of life. That means that Governments have to pour more money in caring for the elderly, and in medical services. This is normally achieved by requiring working people to pay higher to pay higher income tax and cutting funds for other essential services like education. but other essential services like education will be underfunded.

The slow pace of work is another problem, as the number of senior works increases. The ability to absorb information and complete work declines with age. Many elderly people have a conservative attitude towards technology and struggle to learn how to use hi-tech devices and the latest software work. If they choose to senior workers delay retirement, their presence in the workforce they may not perform as well as younger employees and this can influence companies’ productivity and profitability and endanger the whole economy.

On the other hand, the experience and wisdom of senior citizens can be many people will postpone retirement and extend their working life, and it is true their experience and wisdom are a valuable asset to the whole society. People today can live healthier and longer lives, as since they pay closer attention to healthy eating and sports. They can work as consultants even after leaving the workforce, and impart their knowledge and skills to the younger generation. For example, some senior managers can teach young people how to manage a company, and how to provide better services for clients. Our society can draw upon the expertise of these older people.
In conclusion, the considerable extension of life expectancy has put strain on health care and made the workforce less productive. It will influence the economic development of a country, although we can make good use of senior workers’ wisdom.

注：斜体加粗部分是与原文有差异处，加粗部分为词伙