Coming Back To Life

本文作者反思了个人经历中遇到的问题,并表达了对于追求理想生活的渴望。强调了找到内心真正追求的重要性。

注:发现校内不是个写生活感念,学术心得,人生理想的地方,而只是个水的地方。另一方面,近半年多以来,太多事发生在我身上,以至于我自己都没太缓过神来。经过了思想上最颓废和压抑的时期后,现在重返“学术界”,拾起理想开始奋斗,如获新生。其实人最怕的就是找不到方向,没有目标地混日子。作为一个EE转CS的学生,也在优快云看了些牛人的博客,也是获益匪浅,在这里向他们致敬。也决定开个博客,记录下自己生活和学习的轨迹,给自己一个参照,毕竟校内是用来水以及联系老同学的,不是个有深度的地方。作为第一篇文章,决定还是转一篇前一段在校内上的一篇日志,写得不好,但对我却有特别的意义。还有,为了整洁,不再做贴视频之类的事,如果要推荐某位艺术家的音乐,只做介绍,至多贴出链接吧。以下是正文,写于2011年3月24日。

 

 

 

 

 

最可怕的事情是什么?

 

最可怕的事情不是忍耐和等待。

 

最可怕的事情是做着自己不喜欢的事,又不知自己喜欢什么,像上了发条的鈡,机械地做事。

 

 

最可怕的是活的没有感情。

 

最可怕的是工作没有热情。

 

最可怕的是无法享受当下,只能用未来望梅止渴。归根结底,是追求了错误的事情。若是明白这一生想追什么,那么心中的痛苦和挣扎也就烟消云散了。

 

所以,思想被桎枯住是最可怕的事情。不能敢想敢做的人生终究是白活一场。就好比断腿的骏马,即使有权利活着,也毫无意义。

所以,哪怕是有什么心血来潮的想法,我都要去付诸实现。难以忍受那种一眼能望到头的生活,一切on the way,一切都充满无限可能,这才是充满希望的人生。或许某天发达了,某天又一无所有。但我不在乎这种起落。为了能够在任何时期能做自己喜欢的事,一切代价在所不惜。

 

但是,我可以不在乎,别人却不能不在乎。我知道我这样走向了一个越来越不靠谱的极端。尤其是,会给身边的人带来了极度的不安全感。我最怀有歉疚的就是父母。请原谅儿子,但儿子心中充满了理想主义的影子,儿子想用一生去追自由。你们明白我有多爱你们。

 

还有其他关爱我的人,其实我不是坏人,或许是我想法太极端。希望你们能包容我的轻狂,还有冒险。不是简单的话可以形容你们的重要,尤其是在我几近崩溃的时候给我鼓励的人,我会记在心里。

 

我不怕失败,我只怕走上了岔道,无法回头,然后今后的很多年在懊悔当初自己为什么不坚持。

 

最后贴一个David Gilmour的视频,这位让我真正领略吉他魅力的大师。

 

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMTA2MjIwMzQ4.html

 

这首歌叫做coming back to life,喜欢pink floyd的肯定是很熟悉的。虽然已经到了后Roger Waters时代,但1994年这张The Division Bell却是我听的最多的一张。其中不乏像Marooned还有Coming Back To Life这样的名曲。

 

歌词就贴在下面,在黑暗的时刻曾过给我力量。

 

Where were you when I was burned and broken

 

While the days slipped by from my window watching

 

Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless

 

Because the things you say and the things you do surround me

 

While you were hanging yourself on someone elses words

 

Dying to believe in what you heard

 

I was staring straight into the shining sun

 

 

Lost in thought and lost in time

 

While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted

 

Outside the rain fell dark and slow

 

While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible past time

 

I took a heavenly ride through our silence

 

I knew the moment had arrived

 

For killing the past and coming back to life

 

 

I took a heavenly ride through our silence

 

I knew the waiting had begun

 

And headed straight... into the shining sun

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08-31
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