(Modern Family S01E04) Part 3 Mitch的mom来了 并且想向Jay和Gloria就他们婚礼上所做的事忏悔

Part 3  Mitch的mom来了 并且想向Jay和Gloria就他们婚礼上所做的事忏悔

味道如何                   What do you think? 绝对正宗的松饼啊     Now, that is a scone.                                               零黄油  无脂肪          No butter. Nonfat. 得瑟                          Shut up. 我去看看莉莉            I'm gonna go check on Lily. -惊喜哦  -妈              - Surprise! - Mom!   *********************************************************************************************** -你好  宝贝  -你好  我...                           - Hi, honey. Mmm! - Hi. I, uh- 我不知道你要来  你之前没给我打电话啊 I- I didn't know you were in town. You didn't call. 我等不及要见我的小孙女了  她在哪儿      Well, I couldn't wait to see your new baby. Where is she? -米奇尔  是谁啊  -是我妈                          - Mitchell, who was that? - It's my mom. 你就使劲儿忽悠吧                                   Oh, yeah, right, 上回她来的时候                                       'cause the last time she was here, 冰箱门上的磁铁被摆成了五边...               the refrigerator magnets rearranged themselves into a penta... 真是奶奶啊                                              Grandma!   ************************************************************************************************* 妈  你拽着她的脚干嘛呢                     Mom. Mom, what are you doing to her legs? 打太极  我在塞多纳时每天都打          Tai chi. I did it every day in Sedona. 卡梅隆  你也该试试                           Cameron, you should try it. 米奇尔的妈妈对我...                          Mitchell's mother has a problem... 有成见                                              with me. 比如去年圣诞节                                Last Christmas, for example, 她送了我一台健身器材和生菜烘干机 she gave me a piece of exercise equipment and a lettuce dryer.                                  问题的重点是                                    So, to recap,                                我送给她的是一副华丽的钻石耳环    I gave her a gorgeous pair of diamond earrings, 她送的礼物却暗示我很肥                 and she gave me a hint. 住在塞多纳让我改变了许多               And living in Sedona has been transformational. 我每天早上起床后  去参加冥想集会  I get up every morning, and I go to a Vortex meditation site... 在高僧的指导下                                and work with a shaman to                                 终于参透精神世界的奥秘了              finally understand how to live my spirituality. 真棒                                                  Yikes.                                               我领悟到                                            And I've learned that 让我的修行更上一层楼的唯一方法... the only way I can move to the next level of my awakening...                                            就是要想办法...                                 is if we all can somehow... 克服...                                               get past... 那件事的阴影                                    the incident. 完了                                                 Oh, no. "那件事"                                           The incident. 不堪回首啊                                      Oh, boy. 我想恭喜杰和可爱的歌洛莉亚         I would like to congratulate Jay and the lovely Gloria.   杰&歌洛莉亚的婚礼现场 去年二月 我为他们感到高兴                                     I'm very happy for them. 我想和杰举办一次盛大的婚礼                    I wanted a big, beautiful wedding with Jay... 因为我和我前夫的婚礼是在                       because my ex-husband and I got married... 哥伦比亚一间很小的法官办公室里举办的 in a tiny little office of a judge in Colombia. 我妈妈想去参加婚礼                                 My mother wanted to go to the wedding 以显示自己对前夫再婚一事十分大度        to show everyone how okay she was with all of it, 所以我说服我爸和歌洛莉亚邀请她           so I convinced Dad and Gloria to invite her. 当时是谁警告你  那是史上最烂的主意     Who warned you that that was the worst idea ever? 是谁                                                        Anyone? 是谁啊                                                    Anyone? 当然  我已经开始新生活了                      Of course, I've-I've moved on. 我本来要带男朋友来的                           I was supposed to come with a date, 但他闪到腰了                                          but he just hurt his back, 真有点讽刺啊  因为他可是又年轻又健康 which is very ironic because he's young and-and healthy. 我妈妈在婚宴上...                                   My mom started drinking... 狂饮一种叫做"哥伦比亚淫棍"的鸡尾酒    these cocktails called "Horny Colombians"... 和歌洛莉亚的叔叔们大拼酒量                 with some of Gloria's uncles, 那酒名显然说的就是那帮家伙                 whom apparently the drink was named after.                                                                                               拜托  他们很好玩                                  Oh, come on. They were funny. 他们一直摸我屁股                                 hey kept patting my butt. 有人自恋了哦                                       Somebody's full of herself. 他们说  那是哥伦比亚婚礼的传统习俗  It's a- It's a Colombian wedding tradition, they said. 我来祝个酒                                           I would like to make a toast. 是啊  外婆醉得不行了                          Yeah. Nanna got totally wasted.                                                                                                      真的很好玩                                          Uh, it was really funny. 然后就乌七八糟的了                            Then it was gross. 敬新娘  以及新郎  也就是我的前夫       To the bride and the groom- my ex. 我们一起生活了35年                             Thirty-five years we were together, 而他见到小骚货10分钟不到就跟着跑了 and he couldn't wait 10 minutes to run off with Charo. 开个玩笑而已                                        That's a joke. 说真的  我知道他们是天生一对             Seriously, I knew they were perfect for each other... 因为新郎"财大"气粗  而新娘"胸大"乳挺 when I saw his wallet and her boobs. 把你的脏手拿开                                    Take your hands off me! -妈  妈  -米奇尔  放松                           - Mom. Mom. - Oh, relax, Mitchell. 怎么  你今天也变得跟克莱尔一样了吗    What, did you take your Claire pill? -别别  -我们去呼吸一下新鲜空气  好吗 - No, no. - Let's just go get a little fresh air, okay? 然后就变得诡异了                                   And then it got weird. -我是歌洛莉亚  我是歌洛莉亚  -我抓住她了 - I'm Gloria! I'm Gloria! - I got her. 吻我吧  吻我吧                                            Kiss me! Oh, hey, kiss me! 不  天呐                                                       No! Oh, geez. 外婆力大如金刚                                           Nanna is really strong. 哎呀呦  哎呀哟  啊嘶嘚啊嘶哆                     Ayayayayay! Ooh! Ayayayayay! 当我对前夫说出婚誓时                                During my vows to my first husband, 几个毒贩子冲了进来  暗杀了法官               drug dealers burst in and assassinated the judge. 没想到二婚的情形更可怕                          This was way worse. 说什么好呢  我就是能让女人如痴如"狂"    What can I say? I drive women crazy. 可能有点太快了                                      It's too soon, I guess.   **************************************************************************************************************** 妈妈  也许我们不该旧事重提               Well, Mom, instead of dredging up the whole incident, 就直接全部忘掉好了                           maybe we should just try and repress it,                                       就像一般家庭那样                               like a- like a normal family. 我不行  我得来个了断                        I can't. I need closure. 我的人生即将开始新的旅程了            I'm about to embark on a new journey. 我认识了个男人                                 I met a man. 是吗                                                  Really? 他叫查斯                                           His name is Chas, 而且他让我搬到国外和他双宿双飞    and he's asked me to come live with him in his foreign land. 去哪儿呢                                          Wow. Where? 加拿大                                              Canada. 你要搬到加拿大去吗                         You're moving to-to Canada? 加拿大法语区                                    French Canada. 真棒呀                                               That's wonderful. 确实很棒                                           It is wonderful. 只是我一想到自己对歌洛莉亚和杰    It's just that when I think of all the awful things... 以及对你和克莱尔说过的那些恶言    that I said to Gloria and Jay and you and Claire, 我就有罪恶感                                   I feel such guilt. [班夫公园:加拿大著名景点] 往事随风去吧  班夫公园再见            Give it time, and see Banff. 小卡  别这样                                      Cam, please. 我就是没法对他以身相许                   I just can't give myself to him sexually. -别说这  妈  -没想到你突然说如此劲爆的   - Okay. Mom. - Did not see that coming. 不不  别误会                                             Oh, oh. Don't get me wrong. 我们"下半身"非常性福                              We satisfy each other down there- -受不了了  -听不下去了                            - Oh! Can't.. - Don't wanna- 所以我需要大家原谅我                            That's why I need everyone's forgiveness. 米奇尔  我需要你帮忙                              I need your help, Mitchell. 米奇尔  你听见了吗                                  Did you hear that, Mitchell? 你妈需要你的帮助  才能跟她的新男友查斯做爱 Your mom needs your help to make love to her new man, Chas. 完全"不"奇怪啊                                          That's not weird at all. 妈  我...                                                        Mom, I- 我不是很明白你到底想我做什么                 I'm just not really sure what you're asking me to do, Mom. 大家都生我的气                                       Well, everyone's mad at me. 或许你能帮我安排一下  我好道歉         Maybe you could pave the way so that I can apologize. 这样啊                                                Well, um, you know, 其实我们今晚要搞周日聚餐                      we are actually all supposed to have Sunday dinner tonight, 所以或许我可以问问大家                   so maybe I could go around and ask everyone                                   看看你能不能也来                               if it's okay for you to join us. 我就知道你靠谱                                   Oh! I knew I could count on you. 我的帅小伙儿                               Oh, my beautiful boy. Mmm. 我爱死你了                                   I love you so much. 世上有一种鱼                                  There's a fish in nature 会一直把小鱼含在嘴里                          that swims around with its babies in its mouth. 要是这种鱼看见米奇尔和他母亲的关系 That fish would look at Mitchell's relationship with his mother... 准会说  "乱得不堪入目啊"                  and say, "that's messed up."