Womens English

What They Say — What They Mean

Yes — No

No — Yes

Maybe — No

I’m sorry. — You’ll be sorry.

We need — I want

It’s your decision — The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want — You’ll pay for this later.

We need to talk — I need to complain

Sure… go ahead — I don’t want you to.

I’m not upset — Of course I’m upset, you moron!

You’re … so manly — You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

This kitchen is so inconvenient — I want a new house.

I want new curtains — and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…..

Hang the picture there — No, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise — I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? — I’m going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? — I did something today you’re really not going to like.

I’ll be ready in a minute. — Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? — Tell me I’m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. — Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? — Too late, you’re dead.

Was that the baby? — Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I’m not yelling! — Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.