Unipus-writing exercise Argumentation_Text_03

Question:

Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Model:

Watching television (especially informative television) has been recognized as an effective method of learning, because audio-visual information can attract students’ attention and engage their interest. Although many TV programs have educational value, i do not agree that increasing screen time is a good idea.
Television viewing can interfere with children’s studies and other activities which can benefit these children’s development. Children can get distracted easily, especially when they watch TV without adults’ supervision. Students who watch television frequently may not be able to concentrate on learning tasks, a problem which can lead to poor grades. It is also difficult for children to attend those interactive activities which promote brain development, such as reading, singing and communication.
Another problem is that long screen time can have an adverse impact on children’s social development. They will sit in front of TV many hours, instead of playing games with their peers and communicating with teachers. They will become unsociable and unwilling to express their views and understand the thoughts of other people. Without good communication skills, they will have difficulties in gaining knowledge, drawing upon the ideas of classmates or teachers, and achieving academic success.
On the other hand, i understand that television has exposed children to a world of knowledge. There are many educational programs aimed for children, allowing them to gain an insight into different subjects. For example, documents can help children learn about historical events while foreign language channels can help them acquire foreign languages. This kind of knowledge can complement what they learn at school.
To summarize, parents and teachers should impose restrictions on children’s television viewing, rather than endorse that habit. Watching TV can have an adverse impact on children’s grades, rather than improve their academic performance.

Improved Model:

Watching television (especially informative television) has been recognized as an effective method of learning, because audio-visual information can attract students’ attention and engage their interest. Although many TV programs have educational value, I do not agree that increasing screen time is a good idea agree with the idea of increasing screen time.
Television viewing can interfere with children’s studies and other activities which can benefit these children’s intellectual development. Children can get distracted easily, especially when they watch TV without adults’ supervision. Students who watch television frequently may not be able to concentrate on learning tasks, a problem which can lead to poor grades. It is also difficult for children to attend those interactive activities which promote brain development, such as reading, singing and communication They may not be able to achieve good grades in exams because screen time displaces the time they could spend doing homework. It is also worrying to see that television viewing can crowd out those activities which can improve children’s intellectual skills, such as reading, playing chess and board games.
Another problem is that long screen time can have an adverse impact on limit children’s social development. They Those children who will sit in front of their TVfor many hours, instead of playing games with their peers and communicating with teachers. They will become unsociable and unwilling to express their views and understand the thoughts of other people. Without good communication skills, they will have difficulties in gaining knowledge, drawing upon the ideas of classmates or teachers, and achieving academic success.
On the other hand, i understand that television has exposed children to a world of knowledge. There are many educational programs aimed for children, allowing them to gain an insight into different subjects. For example, documents can help children learn about historical events while foreign language channels can help them acquire foreign languages. This kind of knowledge can complement what they learn at school.
To summarize, I would argue that parents and teachers should impose restrictions on children’s television viewing, rather than endorse that habit although television shows are a source of knowledge. Watching TV can have an adverse impact on children’s grades, rather than improve their academic performance exam grades and social skills.
注：删除的部分和原文有差异，标色部分为词伙。