Chapter 1 helping Children Deal With Their Feelings

Part 1

I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.

Living with real children can be humbling. Every morning I would tell myself, "Today is going to be different, and every morning was a variation of the one before. "You gave her more than me!" ... "That's the pink cup. I want the blue cup." ... "This oatmeal looks like 'throw-up.'" ... "he punched me." ... "I never touched him!" ... "I won't go to my room. You're not the boss over me!"

They finally wore me down. And though it was the last thing I ever dreamed I'd be doing. I joined a parent group. The group met at a local child guidance center and was led by a young psychologist, Dr. Haim Ginott.

The meeting was intriguing. The subject was " children's feelings," and the two hours sped by. I came home with a head spinning with new thoughts and a notebook full of undigested ideas:

Direct connection between how kids feel and how they behave.
When kids feel right, they'll behave right.
How do we help them to feel right?
By accepting their feelings!
Problem-Parents don't usually accept their children feelings; for example:
    "You don't really feel that way."
    "You've just saying that because you're tired."
    "There's no reason to be so upset."

Steady denial of feelings can confuse and enrage kids. Also teaches them not to know what their feelings are-not to trust them.