Like My Father Always Said… by Erin McHugh

“You’re a champion!”

– JIM McHUGH, father of ERIN

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My dad was a mechanic by trade—and a good one at that. He knew how to diagnose a problem and then correct that problem without needless delay or excessive parts replacement. He was so good he could even diagnose a problem over the phone. One of the things he told me when I was getting my driver’s license was that he really didn’t care very much if I could start the car. The most important thing with a car is if you can stop it. I was sixteen and thought he was crazy. But if you really think about it, he was so very right.

– TOM, son of Henry

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“I want you to go out there and give it 150 percent!” A little pressure, but not the worst advice for life.

– JOYCE, daughter of Burt

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“You can have as much freedom as you can pay for.”

– IRVING, father of Greg

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“Be good, even if it hurts.”

– JIM, father of Joan

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“Never back down from a bully.”

– TOM, father of Meredith

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My dad, driving around one day while I was reading In Cold Blood for the first time, said, “If anyone ever breaks into your home and tries to tie you up, say no. If they’re cowards, they will back down and you have a better chance of surviving. If they’re going to kill you, they will anyway. At least if you say no, you’re giving yourself a chance.”

– KAYLIE, daughter of author James Jones

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“Keep your head down and stay the course.”

– ROBERT, father of Christina

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You're entitled to your opinion, but you don't get your own facts.

– MARIO, father of Elisa

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Better to have and not need than need and not have.

– LAWRENCE, father of Lydia

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My dad told us (his three daughters) to pick a profession with a name—a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a nurse—because you can always get a good job when no one needs an explanation to understand what it is that you do. He was a credit manager. Bet you don’t know what a credit manager does, do you? Also, he told us to marry a dentist: all the prestige of a doctor, no emergency calls in the middle of the night.

So, I’m a lawyer, and both of my sisters are nurses. None of us married dentists.

– SHARON, daughter of Stuart

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Before you speak: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?

– DAVE, father of Wendy

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I had just received early acceptance letters from three good colleges, and wasn’t sure what direction to go . . . law, medicine, or art. My dad was aware of my conundrum, and invited me to lunch at the Baltimore Museum of Art. That’s when he imparted this sage bit of advice that I think I’ve passed along to others at least half a dozen times: “Do what you love.” It was so simple, yet it resonated deeply with me. His reasoning was, “You’re (hopefully) going to make a career out of what you study, and will be doing it for the rest of your life . . . so, choose something you’re passionate about. Do what you love.” I’ve followed his advice ever since, and it hasn’t failed me yet! And, yes, I chose art!

Sly of him to have chosen the BMA for our lunch!

– LAURIE, daughter of Gardner

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Worry about the things you can change. Don't worry about the things you c

– DON, father of Mary

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“Get an education. It’s the only thing they can’t take from you.”

– DOC, grandfather of M.

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Me: “Dad, why did you cancel my allowance for this week? I said I would clean up my room later.”

Dad: “We promise according to our hopes but perform according to our fears.”

– DAN, son of Clare

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My dad’s thoughts when I wondered if I should major in business instead of art so I could get a good job:

Dad: “Are you passionate about business?”

Me: “Not really, but I could make money.”

Dad: “You won’t be any good at it and probably won’t make a damn cent.”

– HILDA, daughter of Doc

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“If you can read, you can do anything.”

– BILL, father of Deborah

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Regarding eating well: “There are a finite amount of meals in this life.”

– ANTHONY, father of Deena and Peter

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Whenever my dad got into a conversation that became quite argumentative or awkward, he would interject with, “Think the rain will hurt the rhubarb?”

– SCOTT, son of Jack

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“When you’re dead, you’re dead for an awfully long time.”

– BILL, father of Ann

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“The fog will burn off, the sun will come out, and the wind will pick up—stick with me, kid!”

– ANN, MARY, TED, BARBARA, JOAN, CHUCK, DELIA, NATALIE, AND MOLLY, children of Dick

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Be careful with the partying, because once you're a pickle you can't ever be a cucumber again.

– JOHN, father of Marisa

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What other people think of you is one of your business.

– CHARLIE, father of Lisa

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“Pay attention while I am alive, don’t weep over my grave when I am dead.”

I did . . . and I don’t.

– FAITH, daughter of Peter

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Never care what "they" think.

– LENNY, father of Lizzz

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When I came out to my mom and dad in 1978, my dad said, “You are such a good man and more of a man than any I know. I am so proud of you. There will be people that don’t understand, but I do and I love you.”

– RANDY, son of J.D.

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My dad’s general address for gathering his three girls to his side: “Where are my troops?”

– JULIE, daughter of Greg

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“Not enough time in the day? So get up an hour earlier!” (And he did . . .)

– MAX, father of Jean

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Me: “Dad . . . I really hate Tommy for pushing me around.”

Dad: “Careful how you use the word “hate”—it’s a pretty strong word.”

I’ve never used that word the same way since.

– DAN, son of Clare

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My Marine father would wake us kids up in the morning—frequently by unceremoniously dumping us out of our bunk beds onto the floor—with, “Attack the dawn!”

– GREG, son of Irving